April 15th... HAPPY 17TH SOFIE!

With great sadness I wont be here in Jackson for Sofie's birthday so if you are here in Jackson, go love on her for me!!! She was only 16 for 5 months before she was diagnosed. Once she started on her medications, she stopped driving. After the surgery and for 3 months following, she was in a cast. Without the cast she hasnt been able to bend her leg enough to drive.... however.... today, she pretzeled herself behind the wheel with her left leg up on the dash and drove to the high school in my car! Operation success. Dont know what the cops would say about her unique positioning behind the wheel but it was a huge liberation for her to drive again. Tomorrow she turns 17. She will be pronounced "cancer free" (meaning, no more chemo) 32 days into her 17th year!! And we are turning a corner and hittin the gym full force (the books too). Think Sofie can finish her junior year in one summer so she can march with the graduating class of 2011? We'll see!
Bonnie

April 11

Sofie and I are back in Jackson. She sluffed off her methotrexate one day early so we left the hospital at around noon. Tomorrow we start up with physical therapy, tutoring, and her home health care nurse. She had a good day today, slept the whole drive but her nausea was under control. Onward and upward!

Bonnie

some thoughts today

if we are not out of the woods, we are certainly at the tree line descending an arduous path with a beautiful valley in view. i look back at the humility of a mother and largess of grand parents earning, if not celestial life, certainly celestial eligibility. i've witnessed a daughter arrive from unspeakable places, entering the gates of sorrow to learn the process of emotional power. i've seen a 16 year old live her age while a sage for the ages.

and lest any believe cancer is the great master, let me swiftly disabuse you of that. i have mentioned in the past that while cancer may magnify all the normal stresses and strains and storms and hurts and hopes and feelings and troubles and emotions and and and and, it is NOT who we are, or who we have become, or who sofie is, or who she has become. i am reminded of the prophet who praises god for his weakness. cancer is merely the weakness of this life out of which greatness and strength are born.

god bless our cancer survival.

DONATA!

Donata Trussell, the queen of all physical therapists here at Primaries has big goals for Sofie. She says that Sofie's scar tissue is in good shape. She will not require any manipulations. A manipulation is when they sedate you and tork your joint to loosen the scar tissue. Donata also explained that Sofie's response to chemo has been ideal such that she endures it well and bounces back. Both of these factors make Donata very excited to push the boundaries of Sofies capabilities with her leg. Her goal with Sofie is a 130 degree range of motion. This range would allow for biking. Up to this point we were under the notion, per doctor's information, that her maximum range of motion would be 90 degrees. My thinking is that the surgeon's have to be conservative in their prognosis based on the science behind the surgery and the outcomes they have experienced with patients. But an inspiring physical therapist will push those boundaries and help the patient listen to their bodies and achieve what they desire. One of Donata's teen-age patients with bone cancer phoned her some weeks back to report that she had gone downhill skiing for the first time! I think Donata was even caught off guard at this news!! Catilina had been a competitive downhill skier pre-cancer. Her last chemo was in September of 09. She had a terrible time with scar tissue and with chemo. But she had the desire and drive to ski. Sofie is moving out of the chemo stage, which was somewhat predictable and scheduled, and moving into the strengthening phase. It is no doubt exciting but we are also entering the world of unknowns and possibilities. This is when inspiration RULES possibilities. We are so lucky to have the best physical therapists working with Sofie.... Donata (Primaries), Jane (St. Johns) and Andy (All Body Therapy). We can hit this full force after chemo is officially discontinued. This is when she will start to fly!!! One day at a time..... closer to gaining mastery over a new leg. She said the other day, "Mom... I love my leg." It is considerably smaller and somewhat misshappen with a 14 inch scar but she loves her leg. It's that love that is going to inspire the healing and mobility we are already visualizing. We are very grateful. I LOVE INSPIRATIONAL PEOPLE!!! I love Donata.

Bonnie

April 9th

After a tough hospital stay last week, this 2nd 5 day methotrexate has been easier... go figure. Sof is awake, happy and interactive. Yesterday she got another echocardiogram which indicated that the clot on her heart is gone! NO MORE SHOTS!! Such happy news for Sofie. She got to the point with her shots that she wasnt afraid of them anymore which for her was huge. Her anxiety with shots used to be high. Its amazing the transformation we make when we face and conquer a fear. Watching Sofie do this these many months has been a wonderful experience. Today Sof is going visiting around the cancer ward some of the other patients. There is a darling little 4 yr old girl across the hall with osteosarcoma in her shoulder. And 12 yr old Hannah is here again for infection. We brought our array of wigs for her to try on this time. Damon is back from Mexico and arrived last night. He will be with us til we drive back on Monday. Syd and Hallie are at the Hogle Zoo today with their cousins. Next week, Sofs treatment is in Jackson. I have to spend the day in Utah the first day so my parents are coming up to visit!! So excited. They havnt been in Jackson for awhile!! I cant wait to spend time with them.

Bonnie

Easter

Wow. Blogging is getting harder being so much closer to the end!!! I just wanted to blog that Sofie has been asleep for 3 days. Not much to say!! We are still in hospital and will be leaving sometime tomorrow. We will be at grandmas for 2 days and back in on Thursday. Hope Sof pops out of her stupor long enough to enjoy all of her visiting cousins!

Bonnie

April Fools!

I hate April Fools cause you're messin with peoples heads! Brookie just told Sofie her grandma died! Not cool! I told Sofie she was not allowed to do any "cancer" April fools jokes. She totally disagreed! So dont let her fool you today! We just checked in at Primaries for another 5 day visit. Then we ll have 2 days off and do another 5 days here. Jeff was able to break away today so he is here with us. The girls and I been in Kaysville since Sunday and had lots of fun. Sof stayed up way too late last night with cousin Katie and had a blast. Katie is 13 and quite a talented beat boxer! Syd and Hallie got to visit Lacey May Geddes' beauty parlor and get all beautified! And of course, shopping with all of my girls has been a blast because, well.... we are girls. We've had such fun! Happy Easter!

Bonnie