Friday, March 12, 2010

To the sisters in my church ward

I received your letters today. Sof and I have both received many gifts since September 17th, 2009. Every variety of gift imaginable and all of them meeting the unique needs of our family in one way or another. The gift I got today came in your words, on a day that I had a pressing need to hear it. My sisters in the church are a crazy bunch of strong, faithful, women. Here is my letter back:

Dear Friend,

This past summer I did something that would forshadow events which were about to take place in my life. I went on a pioneer trek with Sofie. I think about that experience a lot. My whole life Ive thought, "Im glad I didnt have to be a pioneer." But recently I said,"Why couldnt just have been a pioneer. Their tribulation was to get from point A to point B. Connect the dots. Sure they experienced sickness and death but they were single minded in purpose and there was no confusing what their destination was... except when they came to yet another unexpected mountain pass in the distance. Lately Ive been feeling like the captain of my ship wants to jump board. The waters are too rough. Although I havnt forsaken my spiritual duties, I've been feeling a painful futility. Then I got your letters. Thanks for reminding me who I am, daughter of a King. The only other person lately who is capable of reminding me of that is Sofie. We are a lot like glue and we get isolated in a world of seeming unknowns. We ponder everyday because we HAVE to, looking to find what we DO KNOW and what we CAN CONTROL. I know God tests our endurance but many days I ask myself, "more??" Ive watched Sofie ask that question many times through her tears and the answer is always the same... "yes, more". Sometimes the spiritual pain is unrelenting. (and I never knew there was such a thing as spiritual pain.) Our lives have brought new meaning to the phrase "gospel in action", when the trial becomes so heavy that its easier to stay on your knees than get up and live. Thank-you for your words. They were powerful.

These are some of the beautiful words written:

"I have again, in awe, watched you confront Sofie's challenges unflinchingly, you do what you have to do, and I see your faith and trust in the Lord as your foundation that keeps you afloat and moving in the right direction."

"God, I think, blesses the world to continue spinning, he wills hearts to continue pumping, wills lungs to continue breathing because he sees the beginning from the end, because he knows the sun will rise one day on a perfect morning."

"Not a day goes by nor an hour when I dont think of you and the hurdles you are leaping over, you are surely an olympian. Soon these events will end and you will be victorious, with Soife on the podium of life."

"I realize it is a tremendous blessing to be able to sit in the celestial room and pray for my dear friend and her family."

"He suffered for more than our sins, He suffered for our pains, pains of our own sins, for the choices of others, the challenges life presents, the circumstances that befall us, the unhappy turns we come into, the physical discomfort we feel."

"Ours is a loving Father who will, if necessary, let come to each of us some harsh life experiences, that we might learn that His love for us is so great and so profound that He will let us suffer, as He did His Only Begotten Son in the Flesh, that His and our triumph might be complete and full." (Maxwell)

I hope you know that your letters touched me and that Im grateful that you are my friends.


1 comment:

  1. Dear Bonnie, As always, 'you lift me up!' Keep on hanging on and falling to your knees when needed. You are one tough cookie! I love you and Sofie and you are constantly in our prayers.
    All my love from your Crazy Sistah,