Friday, April 30, 2010

April 30th

7 months ago when Sofie turned yellow after the first day of chemo and slept what seemed like way too long, fear set in. Deep fear. Yesterday when Sofie began turning yellow and drifting off, it felt different. The feeling was that she wouldnt stay yellow, she would wake up when she was ready, come back to her old self again and life would move forward. She used to be afraid of being alone... especially in the hospital when things got really quiet. I get the feeling now that she accepts the times she's alone a little more. It's just different. It is for her and it is for me. We've survived countless rounds of the same thing. Chemotherapy in.... chemotherapy out. And life goes on, and she turns pink again, laughs again, and gets mobile again. On May 9th, chemo will begin to become a distant memory. But lessons learned are etched on our hearts and minds and become a part of who we are. Cancer was not an obstacle. It was an opportunity to look past what we think life is and get to the nuts and bolts. Sof will never have to wonder who God is and what role he plays in her life. I wish I would have known what she has learned at 16. Half way through my life, I'm still playing catch up...


PS Hearing aides are in and she really likes them!

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