sobering conversation

well, here at the hospital for one of sofie's final chemo rounds pre-surgery. this round is methotrexate, the effects of which have proved slightly less nauseating heretofore than others. we hope the same holds true this weekend.

damon, sofie's dear friend, is here along with me, dad. bonnie is with her incredibly kind sister, jessica, for a session at the temple. grandpa turner came by for a while and brought his famous clam dip (if you knew how yummy it is, you'd wish you were here too!) he will return later with grandma turner. we are incapable of expressing the depth of our gratitude for their support through these challenging times. nevertheless, thank you so, so much, grandpa and grandma turner.

we just had a sit-down with dr jones who will remove the tumor and execute the treatment decided upon. we went over treatment options and time line for her surgery:

first of all, tentatively, and probably, the surgery should happen on or near dec 28. sofie sort of made an impromptu decision during the discussion to forgo a trip she had been considering to new york with her english class that was scheduled around that same time. she feels she probably wouldn't have energy for all the activities anyway and just wants to get on with surgery which would have been postponed otherwise to accommodate the trip.

the discussion with dr jones was a harder one than i had anticipated, the hardest for me since first receiving confirmation of the diagnosis. sofie, who has had her share of difficult news lately, over and beyond what she's dealing with medically, said simply, "i'm used to hard news by now."

turns out a procedure which i had taken for granted as de facto may not be so de facto after all. the procedure in question is that of metallic replacement for a large portion of the upper tibia and knee. there is much to say which i may not at this point, but suffice that dr jones indicated amputation is not necessarily a wrong option in some cases. moreover, the procedure i assumed, as complications occasionally arise, can lead to amputation. i have a strong sense we will almost certainly proceed with saving the limb (metallic inserts replacing bone), but the conversation was most sobering.

that said, sofie is generally ok even emotionally despite the conversation, and so am i. i worry for some who have so much on their plate, but i trust heavenly father will provide. i anticipate we will continue to deal with our emotions as we encounter them and that heavenly father will continue to provide strength one to another, between each of us, and together so that we come to places of peace moment to moment, day by day.

so god bless all of us during this holiday season. i love all of you, and i love sofie. lastly, thanks to her mother who is experiencing hardship beyond belief. god bless such a mother who deserves nothing but love and support at this time.

--geoff