December 17th... sugery day

So had a fabulous time in Jackson this go around. She got to take bows with lead dancers of Alice in Wonderland and spend countless hours with dancers back stage, at dress rehearsals and performances. Two nights ago, friends and family met for a surprise send off for her. She was presented with her new Mac Pro lap top which the "schmancer club" purchased with the Sofie bracelet money... very joyous occassion. Last night we watched a full dress rehearsal and left Jax at 8:30 pm. We had a blast on that drive, me, Sofie and Megan Maxwell. Sofie voice recorded her whole cancer journey from the begining so that Megan could use it for a dance performance that her dance studio is performing in May about Sofie. Sof felt great, even ate pizza at 11:30 right before she was to start her fast. We laughed harder than ever the whole way. At 1:20 am, we pulled into the driveway of my parents. Sof said she was sick so I got her meds and walked her in. By the time we got her in bed she was white. I asked her what she was feeling, said she didnt know. She started crying and said it was getting worse. I asked her where it hurt, said she didnt know, crying harder. She said she never felt anything like it, starting getting hysterical. Sofie has NEVER had an anxiety attack before in her life but I knew what this was..... been through it with her brother. I gave her 2 benedryl which I knew would act as zanax and began to rub her legs and get her breathing right, when SHE said, I think Im having anxiety about tomorrow. The doctors had told us that cancer patients will typically throw up anticipating going into the hospital again but no one mentioned the possibility of a full blown anxiety attack. It made sense... she had cried a little earlier about being scared for surgery. So thankfully she was dead asleep about 15 minutes into the anxiety.

We are leaving for the hospital at 9:40. Sugery at noon. Fasting today and praying continually for clarity in that surgery room where 7 professionals need to work 10 hours on her leg. Thank you for thoughts, prayers, donations, fasting and the love of so countless many. Bonnie