Monday, October 19, 2009

October 19th saying good-bye

Crossed another bridge last night at 12:30 am when Sofie woke me up and quietly told me it me that it was time to take her hair off. She had been wearing it in a pony tail for a week, eeking out all of the time she could with her long blonde locks. Scared to wash it, she finally did, knowing what the outcome would be. I held her hands tightly while Jeff shaved it. She was never more beautiful to me in that moment of struggle and tears. What is it about a woman's hair, her crown...? She chose not to look, I found a soft cap for her to sleep in, dad gave her a blessing and we fell asleep in her bed. I woke her this next morning at about 9:30. Her home nurse was here to take blood and vitals. Her words to me when she knew it was time to awaken were, "but I dont know how to be bald". Due to many many txts on her phone of love and encouragement and the anticipation of an early morning visit from many friends, she went downstairs alone and took off her cap in front of the mirror. I wasn't there for that moment but I knew it was happening. As she described later to her friends and I, "I couldnt stop laughing!" Thank goodness all is well. We spent the day shopping for hats and trying on all the wigs at halloween head quarters. From anguish and tears to quiet and back to laughter. She never ceases to resurrect joy.... Mom

7 comments:

  1. Love you love you love you, Sofie and all.

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  2. Wow! What an amazing girl! And she is so beautiful, I'm sure she looks terrific bald! Just think of all the time you could save when you don't have to do your hair every day!

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  3. Sofie, I'll never forget the first time I shaved my head. I was in my forties. It was at night around a campfire with a bunch of guys. So I didn't see myself until the next morning. I couldn't stop laughing. So I identify with your reaction. And you know what? Even though I can only imagine how you look (are we gonna get to see a photo?), I assure you you are beautiful, hair or no hair.

    Hey, and really now, doesn't it FEEL good?

    Love you, US

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  4. You are so brave Sofie!! The anticipation of that moment must have been so overwhelming. I hope that in taking control of the situation you felt powerful and strong. Much love to all of you.

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  5. What a tough girl! You are gorgeous, Sofie, with or without hair. It will always grow back once you are through with treatment. Getting ready for the day will be so much easier now, right? ;-) I can't wait to see you this week!

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  6. Dear Bonnie & Sofie,
    Thanks for sharing your harrowing, beautiful, sad and joyful journey with us. I feel strong when I think about you! We are praying for you and we love you! Kristen & Co.

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  7. Hi Sofia: I'm so glad that this last round of treatment has been a little kinder to you. Sorry that we didn't get to see you when you were home---our own stubborn colds made it impossible. Just want you to know that we are there for you always. As I see your beautiful smile in the photos that are posted,it is a reminder that happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you or to you. It depends on what happens inside of you...it is measured by the spirit with which you meet your challenges. You are a lesson to all of us how to face our challenges....with a great big smile! Love you! Grandma Narda

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